A friend desired to know about counselling and the following was the conversation:
Friend: So, tell me something about counseling.
Respondent: A person shares their issues with a professional therapist in a conducive and confidential environment.
Friend: So, what is the work of the therapist?
Respondent: To listen, probe the client to keep sharing, help the client identify their blind spots, and with the client work towards desired scenario and action plan.
Friend: Is that all? Does the therapist give solutions and advice?
Respondent: A therapist does not give solutions to problems, and giving advice is not in his docket.
Friend: So you are telling me that the therapist’s work is to listen, is that so?
The conversation shows many attitudes towards counseling and the prevalent deficiencies among we Africans concerning counseling.
In the African culture, the traditional setup of the extended family gave a lee-way within which individuals could vent out inner challenges. Individuals had uncountable and extensive opportunities to share with other men and women and with members of one’s age set. In this pristine ambiance, cut-throat competitions, each attempting to outdo the other in individual wealth and authority, were positively dealt with through the Ubuntu philosophy (we are therefore I am).
Communities took care of their own while vice versa happened. Work was a blessing through which co-creative activities were communal and available. An imminent sense of belonging was collectively nurtured and cemented.
While not attempting the impossible of trying to re-create the “good old days,” an acceptance of the present life change is inevitable. Currently, the positives are immense.
We are a global village; technology contributes significantly to wellness, medicine and nutrition, eases pain and improves physiology, and leisure allows one to globe-trot and engage in the fun. These and many other gains are immeasurable.
That notwithstanding, imminent dangers have never been more life-threatening than they are now. Sophisticated crime is prevalent with lab-related harms. Weaponry that can be pulled to action with very little effort has been used to destroy and threaten the citizenry of the developing world and any upcoming powers.
Despite universal wealth growth, poverty has continued to tighten the loops on the necks of the marginalized, among them women and children.
With these, poverty-related evils under bad governance have led to human rights violations. Among the poor, delinquencies, including child abuse, are rampant. Domestic violence, rape, muggings, and murders are the order of the day. While these vices are not only in the domain of the poor, they are certainly high among them in the developing world. One cannot but link them to a lack of basic needs, hopelessness, poverty-related injustices, insecurity, ignorance and even over-crowding (stringent living-space). Does this augur with the Malthusian principle where the world’s continued population increase is projected to jeopardize the resources needed for the coming generations?
There is a need to change oneself before throwing in the towel with a defeatist claim that I can do nothing. Through democracy, one has a say, a vote to elect a leader whom one thinks will bring positive change.
Voting leaders who issue handouts at public rallies or are of the same ethnic community as we, or worse still because they come from royal descent. We feel that they are rich enough not to steal anymore; they are all facades.
A critical look at the working record of the supposed leader is essential; what have they been able to do with the little authority they held earlier? Even when they have a little past track record, they check their operations at the family level.
While the voting after every four or five years may look insufficient, thoughtful voting will gradually add value to our African nations.
Could you not say that it is a waste of time? Lack of voting is already a vote in support of the bad leader.
That notwithstanding, despite the Machiavelian leviathan of the leadership and the continued top-down policy dissemination affecting even the education of our children, there is an invitation to do one’s best. At a parental level and an individual level, one can choose to educate oneself. With the internet available and in the handsets that we have, one can and should continue to inform oneself positively.
This is a journey towards self-growth, which in turn results in self-emancipation. The joy of the haves is in the ignorance and the giving-up of the common populace. Though professional accompaniment, mentorship, coaching and therapy may not be entirely cheap, these are available growth tools. As one caption read, “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance!”
Support from a relative, a neighbor, a friend or even an acquaintance who may be slightly better endowed in education is a worthwhile asset by your side. Make hay when the sun shines.
